


What Do You Want From Me?

by Trostinka



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama & Romance, F/M, Ladrien June, Ladrien Summer, Ladrien | Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Psychological Trauma, ladrien
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24774217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trostinka/pseuds/Trostinka
Summary: At first Lady in red came to Adrien when he was still a child and since then she was coming almost every day. Time passed, Adrien grew up but she... she did not.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Ladrien - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

Adrien was a small boy when his mother passed away. It happened so suddenly, unnaturally... as if it wasn't real. Just yesterday his mother's soft arms were wrapped around him rocking him to sleep and today she is lying completely pale in an oak coffin covered with lilies, and looks more like a marble statue than the woman who gently kissed his forehead with a wish for good night.

Little Adrien’s world turned upside down in an instant. And in this new world there was still a father but more silent and sullen than usual. He also was stunned by this monstrous twist of fate but in the midst of his grief he totally forgot about his son in whose fragile soul something was forever broken.

A child in a black mourning suit continued to stand over the grave even when everyone had left. He stared with his large green eyes at the piece of stone under which his mother was now resting and didn’t understand how this could happen. How can the closest and loved one disappear so immediately? So fast that you wouldn’t even have time to say goodbye.

Adrien wasn't crying and his face didn’t express anything at all. He left only when Natalie called him and pulled him to the car. When in his room Adrien sat down on the bed. He kept his eyes fixed on one spot and didn’t cry even at that moment when no one was around. He didn’t understand his feelings at all.

On that day his Lady appeared to him for the first time. The girl dressed in red suit with black spots looked like a circus gymnast. Did his father invite her? Was he trying to make him laugh? If that so, then it wasn't funny at all.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?”

The stranger only smiled gently and sank down on the bed next to him. She looked into his eyes and the boy immediately forgot what he wanted to say.

“It was hard for you today, right?”

“No… absolutely not!” 

“Then why are you crying?”

Only now he noticed that tears were rolling down his cheeks. How? Why?..

He turned away but the girl moved closer and put her arms around him. Just like his mother used to do. The girl was warm, real and... _alive_.

And Adrien let the pain languishing in his heart burst out. He sobbed noisily and trembled all over but the mysterious girl held him firmly in her arms and didn’t allow him to break.

The girl in red was the only one who managed to comfort him that day. She gently stroked his head letting him cry his tears on her chest. She was the one who listened to all his woeful words; the one on whom he could throw out all his anger for the injustice of fate; the one who washed away his tears and didn’t let go no matter how malicious and selfish his words and actions were. No matter what he did, no matter what a harmful child he was becoming, she still kept coming every night. Thanks to her, he was able to cope with the grief of loss. Thanks to her, he could fall asleep feeling protected and almost didn’t see nightmares.

She took him on night walks and showed him Paris from the highest rooftops where the stars were the brightest.

“Wonderful night, isn't it?”

He didn’t answer. Just kept staring blankly.

“Which of these stars do you like the most?”

“Why? ” he muttered under his breath.

“I can give you one of them.”

He glanced around at the numerous flickering dots in the sky and these lights reflected in his pupils. It was like the stars came down from heaven and settled in his eyes.

“I think I...” he blinked and his eyes immediately went out. “I'm empty inside”.

Ladybug suddenly took his face with her palms and looked into his eyes very carefully. Adults usually look at children with patronage or condescendence. But her gaze wasn’t like that, no. Completely not. She saw him as her equal.

“Then fill yourself up”.

At that very moment he felt his heart filled with thousands of stars.


	2. Chapter 2

Who was she? Adrien didn’t even know her real name. She only had this mysterious nickname - _Ladybug_ , which he himself gave her once. She had nothing against and started responding to it easily.

As time went on Adrien grew older but Ladybug didn’t change. No matter how many years passed she remained the same. No wrinkle or a single defect appeared on her forever young face. It wasn't long before Adrien became her age. But Lady continued treating him like a child, continued to fall asleep in his bed driving away the nightmares. And while growing up Agrest was beginning to get embarrassingly uneasy about it. Once he tried to talk about it but as soon as he mentioned that he no longer wanted to sleep in the same bed with her, her face immediately took on an almost sorrowful expression.

“You don’t... don’t like me anymore?”

“No! No, of course not! ”

She immediately hugged him tightly digging her fingers into his hair and didn’t let him go all night. Adrien didn’t sleep a wink. It was something that began to change in him. He couldn't know what it was yet but he already began to feel more of the softness of her body, the smell of her hair and... His heart began to beat violently every time she touched him lightly. All this time the touches were like something ordinary, natural for her but not for Agrest.

She used to be his magical friend. She was the one who was always ready to listen and play with him. Their relationship was pure and innocent. He was like a son or a younger brother to her. She replaced his mother whom he had lost so early. It was neither nice nor right to treat her like _that_. But there was nothing Adrien could do about the reaction in his body or the feeling that started to form in the depths of his heart. A pulsing heat burned his chest every time she held him gently in her sleep. And Adrien hated himself at that moment.

Because what he was thinking of was vile, disgusting, vulgar. He felt dirty.

Then he started dating other girls. And it helped, it became easier. A little bit.

Did Ladybug herself know what feelings she awakened in him? Agrest didn't think about it. He just continued to enjoy being close to her — as much as he was allowed to. As far as he allowed himself.

“Did something happen, Adrien?”

“No. Nothing”.

He sat at the table staring at the textbook although he had long since learnt the paragraph almost by heart.

“You've been distant lately. You don't talk to me at all”.

Creeping up behind him she leaned down and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

“Did I do something wrong?..”

He immediately shrieked, hesitated for a moment and then abruptly stood up getting out of her hands.

“It's all right,” he looked away. “I don't know why you are—”

“You see! Again!”

“What? ”

“You don't even look me in the eye.”

He didn’t answer and didn’t look up at her. He just kept standing at the window and watched the damned stars blooming brightly in the evening sky. 

Painful silence continued for some minutes. And then suddenly... music. Adrien turned around. Ladybug switched it on.

She came closer and took his hands in hers.

“Dance with Me”.

“I don’t…”

“I am asking you!”

He met her gaze and his heart sank again painfully. He was never able to refuse when she looked at him like that.

She drew his hands to her waist and closed her eyes resting her head on his chest. They joined in a slow dance swaying gently to the tune. Holding his Lady close Adrien nuzzled the top of her head. The music seemed to wrap them both in a slow lingering way and to weave a world for them alone. And in this world, holding their breath, they reached out to each other and both pretended that nothing was happening between them.

"You've grown so much... ” she dreamily traced invisible patterns on his back.

“And you haven't ... changed at all”.

He had never asked about it before.

“I'm sorry... I still can't tell you the truth”.

“Why? ”

“Then I'll have to leave”.

He hugged her tighter

“Then don't tell me,” he whispered into her hair. “You’re here and that’s all that matters”.

“Do you remember when you were a child and asked me not to leave? ” she spoke thoughtfully. “You had so many nightmares in those days… Then you hugged me just as tightly”.

“I am no longer a child.”

She was silent for a moment considering something.

“...I know,” she breathed out quietly. And Adrien couldn't guess what was hidden in her words: regret, guilt or... relief?


	3. Chapter 3

Adrien was growing up. He found a job and moved out of his father's house. But one thing remained unchanged – his Lady was always waiting for him at home. Agrest outgrew her. He began to lead an independent adult life, and Ladybug was still just a girl, a teenager. But if you look into her eyes, no one would dare call them childish. Adrien had no idea how old she really was but this eternally young shell was just a screen, a vessel that contained the soul of a person who knew much more than he could imagine.

No matter how hard and exhausting the day may be, the one that was always ready to console him was always waiting for him. Pulling off his jacket Adrien watched his Lady who was sorting things lying on the table out of order. He always tried to bring her something from work.

Ladybug noticed a small box and opened it. The watch was inside. It looked flashy and was probably incredibly expensive.

“Where did you get that? ”

“Chloe bought it for me”.

“Your new girlfriend? ” She carefully examined the buckle made of pure gold, but she didn't seem to be impressed. “She has bad taste.”

“Have you ever liked one of my girlfriends?”

“You change them too often, I don’t have time to remember anyone”.

She carelessly tossed the watch back on the table, but then she noticed another larger box.

“What's this?”

She lifted the lid. This time there was an old shabby camera inside.

“It`s Polaroid. I brought it from work”. He was unbuttoning his shirt. "I thought you'd like it."

She was really interested. She carefully moved the camera around in her hands and it seemed that this old half-broken camera was a real treasure for her. Adrien was pulling on his home sweater and looking at his Lady. He could have showered her with diamonds from head to toe, but of all the things she would still choose the most inconspicuous, the one that would be special only to her.

“You know,” she said suddenly, “it's time for you to settle on one person”.

Adrien's gaze was focused on her and his face was tense and straight.

“My father tells me the same thing”.

Suddenly Ladybug accidentally pressed a button, and the camera immediately flashed right in front of her face blinding her for a moment. Lady frowned ridiculously and rubbed her hands over her eyes. A photograph immediately appeared from a special hole. But her masked face in the picture was too blurred to see anything except red dots. 

Adrien who had already changed clothes sat down on the sofa next to her. He took the camera from her hands and started explaining how to use it. Ladybug listened attentively and looked at him as if he was telling her about some miracle not just an ordinary camera. Finally when Lady understood the work of this simple mechanism, she wanted to take a picture with him.

“You know, I've had enough photo shoots at work”.

She only moved closer to him.

“Oh, come on! Just once, shall we try?”

She was smiling and looking just like a child who has found a new toy. And Adrien couldn't resist the look on her face.

As soon as he nodded, her smile immediately widened. She leaned against him closely to fit in the frame, pointed the lens at them and pressed a button from the arm's distance.  
This time it turned out pretty well, the image was clear. Adrien couldn’t help but admit that his Lady was quickly learning new things. And since then, the cherished photograph has long settled in the inner pocket of his jacket.

***

Every year, every day and every minute this feeling grew stronger, sometimes even taking the form of irritation. Sometimes being around her was unbearable. Sometimes he even wanted to tell her not to come back, to leave him, but... this connection between them was painfully beautiful, and Adrien couldn't give it up.

She also seemed to be angry with him for something. Maybe because he almost stopped talking to her? Or because every day he worked to the point of exhaustion and came home so tired that he immediately fell asleep. On the rare days when he was able to leave early, he stayed late with his colleagues in places of entertainment and dragged home not sorting out the nearby objects. Even though he knew that she was waiting for him all day. Although he felt her piercing gaze on him every time he stepped into the apartment.

On one of these days returning from another party late at night he casually threw his bag on the floor. He, on the move, pulled off his jacket and immediately fell on the bed.

Lady sighed, looking around this meaningful picture. She picked up his bag and was about to put it back when she happened to look inside. She froze and frowned. She glared gloomily at Agrest and then back at the bag. There was an unfinished bottle inside. Ladybug took it in her hands, opened it with one sharp movement and brought it close to her face. She felt the strong smell of alcohol and immediately winced.

Adrien mumbled something incoherently trying to unknot his tie but the knot only tightened in his clumsy hands. He undid the top buttons of his shirt and pulled the lipstick-smeared collar away from his throat. Purple marks burned on his neck. These marks were left by another woman. Or maybe even more than one.

For a minute Ladybug wasn’t moving. Suddenly, she put the bottle neck to her lips and abruptly started drinking. Gulp after gulp, she drunk it all at once, emptying the vessel. The drops dripped slowly down her chin, almost pouring down the back of her neck. She had no idea what she was drinking, but it went straight to her head at once. Breathing hard, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. The bottle slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor with a thud. Ladybug shook slightly. Her blue eyes glowed brightly in the darkness.  
Agrest continued to struggle with the cursed knot and muttered curses in a low voice. All of a sudden his Lady appeared very close to him. In one motion she unknotted the unfortunate tie and pulled it off his neck.

Adrien he looked up at her with hazy expression.

“You're coming later and later,” she said, hovering close to him.

“A lot of... work.”

They both knew it was a lie.

Lady leaned closer, inhaling the scent greedily at his neck.

“Did you have a good time, Adrien? ” His heart was beating incredibly fast. He was hot. His Lady's voice was low, close to his ear: “You'd be better off with me.”

Agrest breathed heavily and unevenly. The whole world around: time and space, reality and fiction - everything was mixed, confused and compressed to the size of one room.

Lady did not take her eyes off him. She unbuttoned the fly of his trousers and slid her hand down. She knew the way he liked it. Better than anyone else. She had spied on him so often when he hadn't noticed. Her movements are gentle and slow. Cautiously, but strongly, confidently - so that at the most appropriate moment, she could pull a moan from his lips. So that the tremor of lust spread all over the body. So that his drunken, bleary eyes begged for more. And she would spare him, her rush would accelerate.

He wanted to touch her so badly but if he tried to move an inch, she slowed down at once. This excruciating torture. Her strict, thoughtful eyes were so close. Her delicate elegant palm and long fingers. Heat and stuffiness; spasm squeezing the throat. Vague images. His almost insane look. He's tore up, he is on edge. He squeezed the bedsheet with all his might. A little more, just a little more, and he will break, shatter into a myriad of fireworks, into thousands of fragments and countless strings of stars. Nothing mattered around her. Universes and galaxies – everything shrank to a tiny distance between their faces.

His breath is sweet, greedy, full of painfully joyful bliss.

The wetness and stickiness of her fingers.

Her exhalation was full of satisfying pleasure.

Red cheeks under the mask and well-fed eyes. All this time she incredibly loved looking at him.

But Adrien had no time to see anything in those eyes. He fell asleep.

And in the morning there was no one near him. What happened to him last night? Why did he… Was all of it just a dream in a drunken delirium?..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy, is anyone here?.. What do you think?  
> English is not my native language, so i'm sorry for the mistakes if there are some ):


End file.
